The author, who is a severely physically disabled person relying on a wheelchair, has been volunteering at public welfare organizations and has come into close contact with more disabled individuals. This is a marginalized group that is often overlooked and struggles to voice their concerns. As a disabled woman, she pays particular attention to the survival dilemmas faced by disabled women. Drawn from her experiences in the welfare organization, this article details a typical case where a disabled woman became a victim of rape within an intimate relationship.
1
Ai Qiqi arrived at the welfare center leaning on a crutch, struggling through increasingly deep snow. She requested a female staff member for assistance so she could detail her situation more thoroughly. Upon receiving her call, the staff contacted me to explain her circumstances. Soon, Ai Qiqi came into my office, and upon seeing me, she broke down in tears before even sitting down.
I quickly urged her to take a seat; she was not even wearing a cotton coat, and her cheeks and hands were frozen red. I maneuvered my wheelchair closer to her chair, holding her cold hands in my own to provide warmth until they gradually regained heat. Despite our lack of prior acquaintance, there was a mutual empathy noted among disabled women.
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Ai Qiqi continued to cry, “I was raped by Bian Pan. This was against my will and intention, and he broke the law.” I asked, “Who is Bian Pan?” At the mention of his name, she nearly jumped up from her chair, “Can you believe it? He is my boyfriend, and he actually raped me! I want to report him to the police.”
“Since you are in a relationship, is it accurate to say rape? You need to clarify, as it is a serious matter if he is charged with rape.” Among the disabled women I have encountered, many have long experienced physical and psychological oppression, resulting in heightened emotional responses. I thought perhaps she was emotionally distressed. Ai Qiqi exploded in anger, “Why are you doubting my statement? Are you saying I am lying?” As she spoke, she raised her crutch to leave.
I quickly calmed her, saying, “Don’t be angry. I am just helping you analyze the situation so I can assist you better.”
Ai Qiqi had come seeking support from the welfare organization. I felt it was commendable that she had this awareness, but I couldn’t reveal that, regarding Ai Qiqi’s victimization, all we could do was provide a little ‘peripheral support’.
Ai Qiqi is a post-polio syndrome patient, having contracted the polio virus in her youth when the disease was nearly eradicated. This resulted in a disability in her legs; her right leg is marginally better than her left, and she cannot walk independently and relies on a crutch. She is classified as a level-two disabled person and has a valid disability certificate. Due to her physical condition, her mother was permitted to have a second daughter. Her parents place great importance on her marriage prospects, always worrying whether she would be left alone or poorly treated in future marital life.
She mentioned that she does not reject love or marriage and is willing to make the attempt. Since her early twenties, she has been introduced to potential partners through various means, including friends and matchmaking activities. During this period, she has had relationships, but they often ended abruptly, with many dismissing her upon seeing her crutches.
As for those who showed mutual interest, they often encountered objections from the male partner’s family, who firmly opposed their son dating a disabled person. Ai Qiqi found herself losing confidence in the process as she grew weary of being chosen, only to be dismissed in the end.
Ai Qiqi met Bian Pan at the end of 2023 while both were at a welfare factory for disabled people. Bian Pan, a construction worker, came to repair the factory buildings. He was robust, with strong features and seemed quite earnest. Ai Qiqi struggled in movement, and he would proactively offer his assistance to help her navigate thresholds and stairs. He would fetch her meals, carry water, and even come to her house in snowy weather to take her to work.
Uncertain of his intentions, Ai Qiqi was initially unaware of what to make of his help. After all these years, no man had ever approached her proactively.
From my work experience and understanding, the romantic relationships of disabled people are often anxieties experienced by both their families and themselves. Especially for disabled women, their vulnerability and insecurities complicate their journey in love. I interjected saying, “Your suspicions and concerns about him are completely valid, and you must possess the capacity to question things.” She continued recounting how she was moved by Bian Pan, ultimately accepting his affection.
Ai Qiqi had contemplated the possibility of facing objections from both families when meeting in a family setting. However, Bian Pan reassured her that there would be no such issues. He told her that his mother had passed away, and his father was ill and bedridden, unable to care for himself.
The lack of opposition from the male partner’s family also contributed to her quick acceptance of him, and two months later, they confirmed their romantic relationship.
2
Ai Qiqi’s sister was skeptical of her relationship, stating that Bian Pan likely cared more for “your city and home” than about Ai Qiqi. The Ai family is relatively well-off, with both parents employed, spacious housing, and even a car. Ai Qiqi chose not to argue, believing, “If he truly cares, I won’t mind his intentions.”
Bian Pan repeatedly insinuated his willingness to be a live-in son-in-law. After hearing this from their daughter, Ai Qiqi’s parents clearly welcomed the idea, telling her that they preferred to hear it from him in person. When Bian Pan visited again, he indeed spoke in line with their wishes, saying, “I am just a poor boy; as long as you accept me, I am willing to be the live-in son-in-law and live together with your family.” He then embraced Ai Qiqi’s parents, fulfilling their hopes.
After confirming their relationship, Ai Qiqi and Bian Pan enjoyed a period of happiness together. They would commute to work daily, sharing meals at lunch and spending time together afterward, where he would carry her on his bike to parks and the seaside. Ai Qiqi would also take the initiative to buy him clothes and shoes in shops and even a high-end tie, which she would help him wear.
However, as their relationship deepened, Bian Pan often raised sexual demands, which made Ai Qiqi uncomfortable. She thought about her disability and felt she did not want to engage sexually until after marriage. He would press her, asking, “Are you afraid I would lose interest in you? Or that you regard me as a bad person?” Ai Qiqi found herself caught in a dilemma, wanting to explain but struggling to do so.
This issue left her anxious, and she became reluctant to visit public places with him. She had discretely discussed this matter with her mother, who responded with understanding but lamented its implications in societal terms.
Ai Qiqi also privately discussed this issue with a female colleague who is also disabled. The colleague was surprised, saying, “Why be so conservative? You can’t afford to wait; if you go through with it and get pregnant, wouldn’t that perfectly tie him to you?” The colleague’s words shocked Ai Qiqi, leading her to wonder how someone could think that way.
3
Concerning Ai Qiqi’s request for help from the welfare organization due to the rape by Bian Pan, I promptly relayed it to the department’s leaders. A special meeting was convened with about ten participants, all expressing varied opinions. Some argued that her decision to report was personal and that the organization should refrain from intervening. Others believed if we got involved and the outcome turned out positive, everyone would be pleased, but if negative, it might bring about complications…
After a brief, raucous discussion, the room fell silent. No one spoke until I finally said, “As a disabled person and a worker for disabled rights, I want to emphasize that when Ai Qiqi reached out for help in her darkest hour, we need to focus on how we can assist her, rather than shirking responsibilities under departmental pretexts.”
No one responded. The atmosphere grew even heavier. I felt no embarrassment; rather, I believed they should feel embarrassed. I wheeled myself out of the meeting room, unable to leave Ai Qiqi’s plight behind. After careful consideration, I decided to accompany Ai Qiqi to report the matter to the police, appearing in the role of a friend and older sister, rather than a representative of any organization. However, I later received criticism, suggesting, “Your presence inadvertently implicates the welfare organization.”
The following day, I called Ai Qiqi to express my support for her decision to file a police report and offered to accompany her to the station. I could hear her choking back tears on the other end of the line. The next day, we planned to meet. Due to our slow pace, we took nearly half an hour to reach the closest police station. When Ai Qiqi arrived, leaning on her crutch and trembling, I asked if she was cold. She noted it was the weather, but I sensed it was more about her anxiety and fear.
Once at the station, she could barely articulate her statements. Fortunately, she soon regained her composure. Rather than remaining timidly in the corner, she bravely approached the officers, producing an envelope from her jacket. When she opened the papers, she almost stumbled, and a female officer quickly supported her. She handed one sheet to the police and another to me. It contained her account of the incident.
“On January 8, 2024, Bian Pan invited me to dinner, stating that I didn’t need my crutches since they were a hassle. He took me on his bike to a small restaurant where he ordered a few dishes and drank some alcohol. Emboldened by the drink, he embraced me, which I pushed away, but he seized the moment, forcibly pulling my pants down… I screamed and cried for help, but he had locked the door. Even when someone knocked, he refused to open it. He ultimately raped me, and I wanted to leave, but I was completely immobilized. He had premeditated this by not allowing me to bring my crutch, effectively rendering me helpless. He raped me again…”
Ai Qiqi finally produced a pink underwear piece, telling the officers it was what she wore the day she was assaulted, containing remnants from Bian Pan. This delicate item was carefully wrapped in a plastic bag.
4
After she reported the crime, Bian Pan was summoned to the police station. I heard during the questioning, he denied the allegations of ‘rape’ while asserting they were in a relationship. Ai Qiqi told me that during their confrontation at the station, Bian Pan boasted about his noble and selfless nature, saying he loved her despite societal prejudice and had not shunned her merely due to her disability. Although he acknowledged they had an intimate encounter, he classified it as “mutual affection”—that both had impulses.
Bian Pan also challenged the officers, “Don’t you think my love for Ai Qiqi is a beautiful thing?” When both the officers and he turned to Ai Qiqi, she wished at that moment she could disappear. Overwhelmed with shame and anger, she threw down her crutches, collapsing into a sobbing wreck. The officers urged him to help her up, but he sat idly, claiming, “You’re labeling me a rapist, and it doesn’t matter to me what she thinks…”
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The commotion escalated at the station. Ai Qiqi felt the inquiry was fruitless. She returned to my office in tears. Regardless of others’ judgments about her, I believed she stood out among many disabled women. Our conversation shifted to the “dilemmas of love and marriage for disabled women.” Throughout my work experience, I encountered numerous similar cases where certain men leveraged their relationships with disabled women under the pretense of ‘love’ while engaging in acts of sexual assault. I have shed tears countless times for disabled women victimized in such manners. Ai Qiqi lamented that the most disappointing thing was that a female police officer had secretly told her Bian Pan asserted her accusations were merely a ploy to rope him in and expedite their marriage.
As we continued our discussion, my office door suddenly burst open. A man stormed in, furious. Upon seeing him, Ai Qiqi’s face fell, “Bian Pan, what are you doing here?” Ignoring her, Bian Pan slammed his hand on my desk, shouting, “So this is how the welfare organization operates? Recklessly accusing others of ‘rape’ without differentiating between right and wrong, and you too shall bear legal responsibility!” In an instinctive act of protection, Ai Qiqi stood in front of me, brandishing her crutch. He then slapped her, causing her to reel back into the chair. Before she fell, he pointed at me, snarling, “You’re the one destroying relationships for disabled people, prepare to face the consequences.” Soon after, security arrived and escorted Bian Pan out. Following the incident, I overheard whispers within our organization, implying that Ai Qiqi was at fault, bringing unnecessary trouble to our unit.
As the Spring Festival approached, Ai Qiqi was the first to call me, sounding anxious as she quietly mentioned her menstruation was considerably delayed. I reassured her, suggesting it could be stress-related from recent events, encouraging her to relax and enjoy the holiday.
One day in my office, I received a call from the police questioning why, after Ai Qiqi’s report and subsequent DNA testing on her underwear proved Bian Pan’s paternity, she was now refusing to cooperate with the investigation. I was perplexed since she was eager to report initially, but now the case had progressed, why would she withdraw her cooperation?
Only later did I learn that after the Lunar New Year, Ai Qiqi discovered she was pregnant. This put her in a bind. She considered having an abortion, but the doctor informed her that her rare ability to conceive could lead to her never being able to bear children again. Ai Qiqi eventually shared that her refusal to assist the police stemmed from her shock upon realizing she was pregnant. Previously doubted about her ability to become a mother, she was initially thrilled by the prospect but questioned whether she could forgive Bian Pan, fearing that she didn’t want her child to grow up without a father.
5
The dilemma of whether to keep the child or drop the case split Ai Qiqi’s family. Support came from her mother, while her father and sister vehemently opposed the idea. In particular, her father could not bear the shame of having the offspring of his daughter’s rapist as a grandchild, expressing, “How could we possibly become grandparents to an enemy’s descendant?” His anger boiled, leaving Ai Qiqi deeply distressed, as she wanted to keep the child.
On the second day of the Lunar New Year, I was rolling home when someone blocked my path. Clad in a thick down jacket with a hat partially obscuring his face, he spoke low, “Is it true that Ai Qiqi is pregnant? Please, tell me the truth. We’re both parents now; does it really matter? Just help convince Ai Qiqi to withdraw her complaint.”
I asked, “Bian Pan, is your aim merely to drop the case?” He stepped closer, asking, “Is it wrong to want to withdraw the case? I’m becoming a father soon.” I ignored him and continued on my way, but he followed alongside my wheelchair, saying, “Let me give you an opportunity. If you keep quiet about accompanying her to report the incident, I won’t pursue you any further.” I was enraged, stating, “The act of rape is undeniable, shouldn’t you be punished for your crime?”
Bian Pan angrily kicked the front wheel of my wheelchair and stormed away. I chose not to tell Ai Qiqi, hoping to spare her more distress. Subsequently, from custody, Bian Pan reached out to Ai Qiqi through a lawyer, asking her to submit a letter of reconciliation. She did admit to having soft spots at that moment. However, a lawyer abruptly suggested, “Given he is the father of your child, you should provide a reconciliation letter unless you want regrets in the future.” The lawyer’s advice infuriated Ai Qiqi, leading her to strike her abdomen and collapse on the ground. The lawyer was terrified, undecided on how to react, halting any further engagement.
Bian Pan was ultimately sentenced to eight years in prison, beginning his term in June 2024, while Ai Qiqi entered her late pregnancy. No longer capable of moving around, she relied on her mother and sister for care. Her mother privately shared with me that she had witnessed her daughter’s emotional turmoil, including thoughts of abortion and suicidal tendencies due to the gossip rampant regarding the child having a rapist as a father.
During the National Day holiday in 2024, and following a cesarean section, Ai Qiqi gave birth to a healthy boy whom she named “Qing Qing.” She hopes he will grow up smoothly and healthily. Now, Qing Qing is over a year old. Ai Qiqi mentions her family is gradually saving up to move to a place where they can live anonymously.